This past weekend, I went to a stag and doe for a couple whom I have known for over twelve years now. No one thought that they would end up together, but when they started dating it just, “made sense.” They compliment each other perfectly and bring the best out of their hearts of gold. It has been a pleasure to see them grow and strengthen their relationship as they look forward to getting married this fall.
As I was surrounded by friends who have been a part of my life since I was a child, I couldn’t help but think about how quickly time has passed. Now, many of my friends are dating, getting married and having children, actively living a life that they have wanted for years. I cannot be happier for them but (to be honest) sometimes the feeling of inadequacy and jealousy rears its ugly head because I am not experiencing the same life events that they are, despite my desire to.
When these thoughts of not being good enough, pretty enough, or yes, even “Christian” enough enter my mind, I immediately turn to God and start praying. It’s hard and sometimes the last thing that I want, but I know that when I don’t know what to do, God does!
When I was fourteen, I heard about the concept of praying for your future spouse. I had heard about purity rings, public declarations of maintaining sexual integrity, and even writing a list of qualities and traits that I would like my husband to have. While these promises and prayers can be beneficial and a cornerstone for those who are walking through a season of singleness, I decided to pray for my spouse and leave the rest up to God.
A few times a week, I think about my future spouse and take a moment to pray for Him. When I was a teenager, I prayed that God would bring him into my life as soon as possible and that I would be smart enough to realize it. I would pray that he would be able to navigate the difficulties of high school and that our relationship would be built on God alone, no matter the pressures of society.
My prayers have changed, however.
Now, I still pray for my spouse, his work, his relationship with God and even his current relationships with friends and family members, but I also pray for our lives together. I pray that we would be able to live a life of faith, fully trusting God. I pray that we will be able to grow closer together as the years pass and that we will always have grace and mercy for each other. I pray that our relationship will be built on Godly love instead of worldly love, and pray that when our lives become knitted together, our families will establish incredible relationships with each other. While I know nothing of marriage as I have not entered into that stage of life, I know that it’s not going to be 24 hours, 365 days a week of rainbows and unicorns. I know it’s going to be a struggle, and it’s going to take immense control of the heart, soul, and mind to grow and flourish in this relationship every single day, but I know that through praying for both my spouse and myself, it is a step in the right direction.
Whether we are married, single or dating, I believe that praying for our future spouse should continue. We are always changing as we navigate life, meaning that who we are in five or ten years time could be very different from who we are now. I have already promised myself that I will continue to pray for my future self, and my partner’s future self, asking God to lead and direct us as we embrace the chapters of this incredible book of life.
Singleness is a season (and a blog post of its own), so I am choosing to fill this season with prayer, not just for my spouse but myself as a future girlfriend, wife, and mother as well. Through these prayers, I am giving God control and letting Him lead my heart and my mind. It doesn’t mean that the waiting is any easier, but it is helping me give God control in this area of life so that I can focus on my relationship with Him. It is through these conversations and quiet moments with God that He is working on my heart and mind so that when it does come time to step out of this season and enter into a new one, I am doing so with God leading my steps and guiding my heart.
There are many articles and blogs about praying for your spouse, and a few that I have consulted over the years. If this is something you would like to start doing, take a look at some prayers built on Biblical truths. Here are a few that I love.